In the beginning, it’s always exciting and full of expectancy. You can’t wait to see your partner and share beautiful moments together.
Trust me, the happiness and excitement of a new relationship can be overwhelming.
However, your peace is costlier than gold and nothing new equals to forever. Time begins to reveal how your ideas, visions, values and interests aren’t well matched.
Your heart no longer beat like a durbar drum and forever seems too long to be with such partner. You want to get it done with but there is a challenge.
Your partner has been exceptionally doting and generous. You think of the many magical treats and feel guilty for wanting to break up. You are stucked and overdue to move on but don’t know how.
Truly, every situation is different. There’s no all-fit-size way to avoid hurting someone’s feeling but there are subtle points to keep in check when thinking about having a break-up conversation. Below are some points you might have to consider.
- Break up in person: Breaking up through Facebook or Whatsapp message might be a very bad idea. Tone can be lost in messages and, even on phone, but doing it in person signifies recognition of the importance of the relationship.
- Choose the best time of the day: This means you shouldn’t be in a hurry, reserve few hours for this. Don’t forget to meet with your partner in a safe and tranquil environment.
- Prepare what to say before the break up conversation: You can start by mentioning what you admire or value about the person and then saying you want to break up. You don’t have to beat around the bush but try to be gentle, warm and frank. Give reasons why you feel the relationship is not working and why it would be better if you both drift apart. Try to avoid playing the blame game. At least, it would help to prevent a damaged self-esteem, and besides, nobody is void of making mistakes.
- Prepare to accept your partner’s reaction but be firm with your decision: Be patient enough to hear from your partner. They might agree and they might not agree. They might be silent or get angry. They might want to negotiate or ask a lot of questions. Stay calm, put up with their attitudes but be clear that your mind is made up.
- Suggest ways on how to deal with the aftermath in order for you to have space to heal: It could be not calling each other for a week or months. It could be severing contact for a while but be wise to choose with the best strategy.
- Make positive remarks about your individual future: You could say “We would be great and still know ourselves”
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- Appreciate your partner for every kind disposition they have offered and apologize for hurting them.
- Give your partner a warm hug and say goodbye.
If this captures your present situation and you’re looking at giving it a try. I suggest, you Shoot!
And oh, cheers to a better relationship ahead!
Correction: This story was published initially with the title “8 subtle ways to break up respectively”. It has been corrected.