You know how we use to feel Lagos men are not faithful, they are cheats and all that stuff the ladies over here do say? I don’t think we are hearing them from the right source, we should consider changing our sources as well.
Over the weekend, I was with some new friends at the mall, some of them I have met in conferences and corporate events, others I met in some fun events as well, so we put things together and decided to hang out at the mall.
During the hang out I decided to pitch a topic of discussion which was accepted and heads on. It is for the men alone, ladies? we just listened.
What do you all think is the major reason men always engage in a conversation, some times romance and more times intimate with more than one lady other than their girl friends?Omawunmi Adegoke
Felix – Bored, we are bored!
So I will go first. You see, I am going to be straight on this, because as for me, I do that a lot, not because I want to, but because I have no option since I am bored. Nigerian ladies just want you to interview them.
I close late from work, stressed and all, I need my woman close to engage in some what conversation, fun, romance or something more exciting, but you see, it doesn’t go beyond “How are you, have you eaten, what did you eat, etc”, that type of conversation makes me bored and if I am that bored, I easily jump into any other interesting conversation from any other lady online, and you know how these things work, some times it leads to something else, because you end up being used to it and love happens, just because your woman allowed it.
Ahmed – Too relgious to fault
I know some sees such opinions as not relevant, but believe me, religion is one of the reasons a lot of relationships fail in Lagos.
Nigeria is highly religious, and you see Lagos and neighboring states having the headquarters of of some of the biggest of them all, it’s a factor I have considered to be the reason some women don’t really understand how to keep a man aside telling them about ‘no sex, romance or dirty talks till marriage’ and all.
Men will always be men, whether church or not. You can deny, as a man that you don’t get aroused some times by even mere thought of it, or that you don’t feel a thing, or even not catching feelings and want to ease off some times. Not like I am trying to justify pre-marital sex, romance or the dirty talks that makes you want to jerk off some times (I also grew up in a Muslim Family that doesn’t permit that), but you see, men are always men, and some times, they are desperate and in the mood, and if you can’t help but begin the talk of ‘no dirty chat’ with them, they are likely going to embrace whoever gives them the sauce of the moment.
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Dan – Same thing every day
I understand we have this kind of lifestyle in Lagos that make us to repeat same thing almost every day in Lagos, and believe me, that point by Ahmed is one that fuels it all. We talk about work, do some bit of ‘amebo’, talk about church and all, but then, as I push a bit to romance, the next I get is ‘You know it’s not right, we should be clean till marriage’, and that is it. Are you for real? I want to free my head some times, you have nothing for me, you have no story and the conversation is getting so boring. We are here already, we can’t be this boring all the times because of religion.
I remember one day my then girl friend visited, OMG. she wore a kind of clothe that covered her all up, with a trouser. jeans actually. You can only see her arms and feet. When I asked her why, she said because she don’t want to do anything. I was stunned. We eventually engaged in kind of kissing, and each time my hands goes to the body, she holds it back and warn me. But for real, I know it’s difficult, but we can actually do stuff without have the sex really, but this is boredom at its pick.
Bright – We are running from the interviews
This same thing I want to say is just an issue for every man in Lagos. We are interviewing the ladies, we are not chatting. You just have to learn how to ask the questions and let them answer, if not, there is nothing else to do. They expect you to be the sweet guy that brings the fire conversation, and if you mistakenly run out of gist? it’s over for the moment.
We want the fun, we are human too, so we move to whoever brings it some times. Most times it’s not like we want to cheat, but you see, this things makes it difficult to avoid when your woman can’t also keep you up like others do. they don’t want you to chat with anyone else, but they can’t, on the other end, engage you to the point where you don’t have to.
So, tell us, why do you think Lagos men, or, I don’t know, maybe Nigerian men engage more women in a conversation aside their women?
Omawunmi Adegoke a graduate of Mass Communications from Lagos state University and an academy writer for The Bloomgist’s Column 60.